My family moves around a lot. Most people assume it's because my family is military or because my parents are  relocated for their jobs. No, my dad's a principal and yet he is always hopping from one school to the next ready for another experience. Even if he likes the school where he is, if another opportunity comes around he will snatch it up. Right now he is principal of a very nice high school in a small town in Virginia. There was a nationwide search for a new principal for a high school in Alexandria, a large city right outside D.C. After a couple of weeks of interviews, my dad was told he got the job. Fun fact: the high school is the same school from the movie Remember the Titans. Once again, my parents moving doesn't affect me that much, but I guess I just want them to just pick a place and stay there longer than 3 years.

Recently some friends of mine have gotten me to start rock climbing again. I first learned how to rock climb when I was about six years old. My parents belayed for birthday parties at a place called Vertical Edge so when they were done they would teach my sister and I. I ended up having my seventh birthday at Vertical Edge. Besides that my parents and I love bouldering whenever we go on hikes that have good rock outcroppings. My second high school actually had a pretty decent rock wall in the gym so I had opportunities to climb again and even joined the rock climbing club. For one reason or another I never went to the rock wall here at Appalachian but in the last week I've gone at least four times and have gotten really determined to get good at it again. Of course I'm a little intimidated by the people (and my friends) that go all the time and are really good but I just want to get better.

A friend of mine has been asking me for a while now to go contra dancing with her. I'm not much of a dancer and I'm not a big fan of random strangers touching me so I've been brushing her off for a few weeks now. Yesterday we hung out and went rock climbing after work when she heard about a contra dance happening that night in Valle Crucis so of course she begged me to go. I finally agreed to go with her. She excitedly gave me a cute outfit to wear and we drove off to the Apple Barn where it was taking place. I had so much fun! I didn't expect to like it, but from the first dance I was hooked. Even though I didn't know what I was doing the people there were really nice and very open to helping me learn. I can't wait to go back later this week.

What do you do when you need money but your job sucks? I don't just mean you don't like your job or it's boring or something, I mean it's a volatile environment. I've had crappy jobs before. Things that I didn't want to do but had to deal with anyways to make some extra money. This time I really need money just so I can pay rent and bills by the end of the month so of course I was grateful when I was basically hired on the spot for this job. That's why I feel so stuck. I have to keep this job, at least until I can find something else (if I can find something else) but my work environment is awful. I can't stand being around people that can't control themselves (e.g. get through their work shift without being high on heroine, xanax, etc.).

If you hate it when people talk about how much they go to the gym then this will really annoy you, I've had a lasting hip injury that just continues to get worse. Last Thursday I got a cortisone (steroid) injection to hopefully heal any inflammation and make my hip better. I took the whole week off from working out last week and rested as much as possible after my injection. On Sunday night I tried to do a light cardio workout and not put any extra strain on my hip. I still ended up having intense pain after barely an hour. Exercise is a huge stress reliever for me and, as silly as this sounds, is a huge part of who I am. It's been really difficult for me to not be able to work out the way I want to because of a lasting injury. Everyone asks like I'm so ridiculous for still working out when I'm in pain, but not going to the gym is worse than exercising with an injury. Yes, I know I'm crazy.

I love my parents. My mom and I have a pretty close relationship, mainly because we have pretty similar personalities but that can also be the reason why we don’t see eye-to-eye. Today I was just having a normal conversation with my mother when out of the blue she brought up grad school, again. I went through some traumatic experiences through my freshman and sophomore years of college and therefore want to take a gap year to work before going to grad school so that I can fully recuperate before jumping into another stressful school situation. My mother would prefer me go straight to school, mainly because she worries about me having to pay off my loans during that year. She also looks back on my sister’s mistakes with school and, being the youngest child, my parents push me extra hard to keep me from making the same mistakes.  

So an update on a previous post. I now have four group projects for the remainder of the semester. I got most of one of them done last night which is nice. My partner is really sweet and a good student but she it doesn't seem like she always understood what I was talking about. Oh well. Today I have cultural diversity class and will see my group members. It's pretty frustrating that I had to pick the topic, hand out individual assignments, and go choose resources for them and they still haven't done any research. One girl asked me to remind her what her individual assignment was! My newest group project is in my dance class. You know how the teacher will put you in groups and you secretly hope you don't get put with a specific person. Well I was put with that specific person. Thankfully there are two other people in the group that I get along with pretty well. I just want to be done with group projects.

As you guys probably know, I'm doing my minor in Special Education. When I first came to college I thought this was what I wanted to do, but quickly came to the realization that I didn't want a classroom, and I wanted a more focused and one-on-one environment so I switched to Communication Disorders. I still want to work with special needs children and really enjoy my special ed classes. So far in all of my special ed classes, my professors always tell me what a great student I am, what a deep thinker I am, etc., etc. Now this may be a little selfish but I guess sometimes it would be nice to get this same affirmation from professors in my actual major. I realize that just by the nature of their subjects, the professors will not only have different teaching styles, but will also probably differ in how they interact with students. It would still be nice to have that affirmation that I made a good choice when choosing this major and that I will continue to do well into grad school.

Old, square, grandma, etc. I lose track of the names people use to describe my rather tame college lifestyle. Unless I'm working out, I like to be in bed by 10:00pm at the latest. I like chamomile tea and crocheting. The only time I drink is when I pour myself some wine with my dinner so needless to say I don't go out much or indulge in parties. So on occasions like Friday night when my neighbors decided to throw a party ALL NIGHT I was rather salty (irritated). I had just come home from work and had to be up early in the morning to volunteer but apparently it wasn't in God's plan for me to get any sleep that night. The icing on top would definitely have to be when my neighbors' lovely guests were shouting racial slurs, such as the n-word, along with their favorite rap songs. It was truly a magical time. They say only God can judge, and yet here I am... Heathens need to turn down their music and make better decisions.

Simple pleasures really can be the best. I was able to try out a new recipe in my slow cooker today. I low cooking with the slow cooker; it’s like leaving and coming back home to a present. I had some extra chicken left over and decided to bake it, shred it, and make avocado chicken salad for lunch tomorrow. Everything was delicious. I usually don’t cook that much because my incredibly rude roommates love to monopolize the kitchen. It was so nice getting to create something and have it come out nice. I’m now cuddled in bed with dessert, a glass of red wine, and Netflix. Even on an incredibly busy Monday, simple things like a warm homemade meal can make everything good.

So I’ve been seeing the name Noam Chomsky in the media a lot lately. I’m a little embarrassed to admit that at first I couldn’t remember why I recognized his name. Honestly, I thought he was dead. I guess it really wasn’t that long ago that he was in the forefront of psychology and speech but I guess anything before the 1950s feels really old to me. The weird thing about seeing Mr. Chomsky in the news and media is that he is being mentioned for things that have nothing to do with why he’s famous. I guess there is more to the guy than just a psychologist but still, seeing him speak out on politics kinda reminds me of when a celebrity speaks out on politics. They may actually know what they’re talking about, but it just makes me a little skeptical of their point. I think that a lot of times the world only cares what well known people have to say because they are well known. If Bob from around the corner said the same thing, he may or may not have an audience. 

Last night, I heard one of my roommates crying while talking on the phone. She made several subsequent phone calls which led me to the assumption that a family member had died. To say that my roommates and I are not close is an understatement, however I'm still a human so this morning when I saw her getting ready to go home I hugged her and told her I was sorry for her loss. It turns out her grandfather had died. I just realized that every year I've been in college, I've had a roommate that had a family member die between March-April. I'm starting to think I'm a bad omen. My boyfriend is going to be my roommate next school year and I'm pretty close with his immediate and extended family so fingers crossed this trend doesn't continue.

I have three different group projects coming up in my classes. I hate group projects. In theory they should be fine. If you have the right group of people you can create something wonderful, learn a lot, and share the load equally. I feel like by the time we get to college, group projects should be something that people know how to do. For some reason, it's very rare that I have a group project that goes well, even in college. I don't see myself s a natural leader, but I often times have to assume that role because otherwise nothing would get accomplished. If I get a bad grade, I want it to be because I didn't do enough, not because some else didn't do enough. It is very rewarding when I get to work with some who works hard and seeks to learn from the project.

I really needed a day like today. I was stuck inside until around 2:00 doing laundry and watching a web series on a man with ALS. After doing that for a few hours I was very happy when my friend asked me to come hang out with her. It was very nice out today so we were able to set up our hammocks and just talk. Around 4:00 we packed up our hammocks and went to Enews where a few of my boyfriend's friends were playing classical guitar. I left to go to a meeting, had great discussion, and got some dinner with a girl that I'm starting to form a closer friendship with. She also happens to have pet rats which I think is super awesome so I walked back to her apartment with her to meet her roommate and play with her rats. I then took a drive on the parkway before settling back in my bed to get ready for tomorrow. It's good to take time for yourself.

I opened up netflix last night for something lighthearted to watch before bed. I instead discovered that the Saw movies had been added to netflix and started watching those instead. Of course afterwards I had to cleanse my palate with a few episodes of the Power Puff Girls. As much as I hate horror movies, I find the Saw movies strangely entertaining if not needlessly gory. Although I probably should be doing some homework or laundry, I feel like watching the Saw saga is a much better use of my time this fine Saturday evening. Who knows, I might even get a little crazy and poor myself a glass of wine.

I felt like the rough draft of the literature review shouldn't be too hard. When we were in class discussing it I was like "yeah, I got this." No, I don't got this. I'm so confused! the more I worked on it the more confused I became. What is supposed to be included in the first couple of pages we do? This is only 2-3 pages out of several. So there will be more added on but we don't write from start to finish, we write parts of from each section. It's so confusing! How much of each section do I need to have done? There were so many criteria for each section I had no idea how to include all of it. It was like I had to much to write about while also having nothing to say.

We've probably all been there. As CSD majors we're constantly having to analyze the place, manner, and voicing of sounds. It was worse when in phonetics class. When we were just starting to think about PMV. But it has continued into pretty much any class where transcription is mentioned. I'll be sitting in the library, student union, etc. doing some homework or studying when I start to get these sideways glances from the people around me. It turns out I've been moving my mouth or making little popping sounds the whole time I've been sitting there. Obviously I'm assessing the PMV of a phoneme or trying to decide the phonological process used in an example. To the outside world it looks like I'm failing to carry on a silent conversation with myself. It can be several minutes before I realize that I have been experimenting with my articulators the same way an infant would.

I'm reading another book for my EBD class. It focuses on a "class" of diverse students; one is boy with angry and violent outburts, one is a 12 year old pregnant girl, one is a 7 year old girl with TBI, and one is a seven year old boy with autism. The boy with autism and the girl with TBI are very interesting in terms of there speech. The boy, Boo, exhibits delayed echolalia. I had heard of this term and knew what it was but hadn't heard of it in an actual situation. I would assume this is actually pretty common with children with autism. Boo is otherwise nonverbal. Sometimes he will answer questions using mitigated echolalia which is pretty interesting. Boo's receptive language improves every day although his expressive language is almost non-existent. The girl with TBI, Lori, has an above average IQ, speaks well for a child her age, is empathetic and emotionally astute when it comes to other people. Lori can't read at all. She can't recognize letters. She has a developed vocabulary and can comprehend stories that are read to her but her ability to draw a connection between phonemes and graphemes is completely gone.

I've realized that I do a lot of these blog posts while I'm in the middle of doing another assignment. Sometimes my brain just needs a break from looking at the same work all the time I guess. I'm doing a take home exam that includes many multiple choice questions. Several of the questions include statistics that are nowhere in the designated reading. How am I supposed to just know the "percentage of children of low-income recent immigrants (that) live with married parents?" Spoiler, google doesn't understand what the heck I'm talking about. The same is true for some of the true/false questions. There's what the book says, then there's what the exam questions say. I get that we're in college and we should be able to use our own critical thinking skills, but still it's a little confusing when the questions don't seem to match the reading.

Blogging is hard. I really don't have that much to say. I wouldn't say my life is boring because I am properly entertained by it, but I wouldn't expect an outside audience to view it as riveting either. I'm normal. I go to school, spend a lot of time at the gym, do homework, watch netflix, eat sad college kid food, and sleep. I've never quite understood those famous youtubers that have TONS to talk about all the time or those famous bloggers that get a kick out of sharing the details of their lives. I have a facebook that I pretty much never post on except for very special occasions and change my profile picture maybe once or twice a year. I don't have a twitter or instagram or whatever else the kids are doing these days. I only have a blog because I have to (no offense Dr. Klein). It may be hard to believe since I'm the kid that asks a ton of questions in class when everyone is ready to move on or leave, but I really don't have that much to say on a regular basis. So I find myself trying to dump out the random ramblings dancing around in my brain and formulate a somewhat comprehensible paragraph. Blogging is really, really hard.

So my boyfriend is going to be gone playing music on a cruise ship until the end of October. I finally got the Valentine's Day gift he sent me yesterday; it had been delayed because of the weather. Inside the fancy box was a simple but beautiful silver necklace inlaid with (what I thought were) gemstones. I was overjoyed. I had no idea he had gotten me anything plus he usually I was impressed with his ability to pick out something that matched my style. I immediately called him to thank him for my gift when he informed me that the "gemstones" were in fact something much, much nicer (if you catch my drift). I was amazed but this fact didn't increase the value of the necklace for me. Of course I'm 10x more terrified of losing it now, but knowing the materials that were used to make the necklace didn't change my view of it. I was excited to have something I liked. I was deeply touched that my goofy but kind-hearted boyfriend wanted to spoil me a little. For me most of the fun lies in discovering I actually have mail and then getting to open a box. (For me anyways) it really is the thought that counts.

The history of speech therapy is actually pretty interesting. Part of me is surprised people even cared about speech therapy in the "olden days" but at the same time it kinda makes sense especially considering how much we still judge others based on their dialects and idiolects. While reading about theories of phonology, I almost think of it as a progression of common sense. Distinctive features theory seems so complex and specific but is still very limited. I would never be able to think of all the intricate details the distinguish one sound from another. But it does seem rather odd that it took such brilliant minds so long to recognize that speech is more than just the sounds that come out. Even children can recognize the complexities of speech but we rarely ever acknowledge those complexities. I'm sure that within the next fifty years there will be some new cutting-edge theory identifying another dimension of speech that will seem like "common sense" once it's discovered.

Valentine's day has always been kinda weird for me. For one thing, it's my parents' anniversary. Like most little girls, I always wanted to know all about my parents' wedding. I wanted to know where it was, what did my mom's dress look like, how was the service. Unfortunately my dad isn't much of an open book when it comes to these things and my mom refuses to tell me much. I've only seen maybe 2 or 3 pictures from their wedding. My mom simply eludes to the fact that this was a painful and confusing day for her because even though she was marrying the man she loved, half of the guests didn't show up and the other half just showed up out of spite. Valentine's day always makes me think of weddings and families and love. What does love really mean? Why the heck do we even care about Valentines day anyways. I sent my boyfriend a link to a story about a guy who had his girlfriend drawn up as different disney princesses for valentines day. He of course responded saying "great, now what am I supposed to do." I promptly added that he could just do exactly what he did last year, nothing. It was fun to pretend like I was hurt but I really don't care about gifts or cheap chocolate. I guess one of the most important gifts a person you love can give you is security. Something my parents' didn't feel on their wedding day. How could they when they were surrounded by family members that told them they were making a horrible mistake.

So I'm working on the distinctive features/phonological processes homework for speech disorders throughout the lifespan. I feel like this is all a big trick that I'm not getting. Like when you take a math test and you're like "that seemed pretty easy so I either aced it or failed miserably." That's how I feel while working on this. Like I think I'm getting the concept but at the same time I'm thinking "there's no way it's this easy, I must be missing something." I think this should be a completion grade rather than an actual competency grade. This is my first time doing this woman! You can't expect me to get it right. Especially when you're constantly changing your instructions. I'm very easily confused. I'm like a puppy, consistency is a necessity.

This may be considered inappropriate but I'm gonna do it anyways. I truly admire a certain professor in this department. She's a black woman that was impoverished during childhood and has become a speech pathology guru. That's amazing. When we have class I thoroughly enjoy learning from her, the only problem is we've only had class twice this semester. This is my third time having class with this professor but it's always the same. We hardly ever have class because of certain complications. Like I said, we've had class I think only two times so far this semester (maybe three). We went over the syllabus in the first meeting although many of my classmates have complained about not having access to the syllabus which has happened to me before also. In the next class meeting we went over chapter 1 in the book and we were told to do a cultural collage project that would be due in about two weeks. I thought of this as a perfect excuse to do a fun art project so I spent a lot of time making my collage. We ended up not having class again and therefore we still haven't presented these collages. Today around 5 or 6pm, an email was sent out by said professor stating that our "ethnographic interview" projects would be due tomorrow. The questions for this project are stated in the syllabus but it was never discussed fully in class or by email and we don't have any kind of grading rubric. I am a little peeved that this project is due without any previous mention and hardly any direction. I know how I'm going to spend my evening tonight. Let me just tuck this other project I spent hours on over in the corner...

I'm a special ed minor currently in my third special ed class. This one is focused on working with kids with EBD (emotional/behavioral disorders). My professor, Dr. Marlowe, decided to structure the class around the books written by a special ed teacher he wrote a book with called Torey Hayden. The first Torey Hayden book we're reading is called One Child. It is about a six year old girl named Sheila that is temporarily placed in Torey's self-contained classroom until she can be moved to the juvenile ward at the psychiatric hospital. Although Sheila is destructive and disturbed, she is basically a genius. Every time she is given an IQ test, she exceeds the ceiling so neither Torey nor the school psychologists can accurately gauge just how intelligent Sheila is although it's clear she's a prodigy. At six years old, Sheila already reads on a fifth grade level and comprehends vocabulary that even some adults struggle with. As someone studying speech and language disorders, I find it Sheila's speech patterns very interesting. She is a Caucasian female living with her father in a migrant camp but her father is rarely around. She has no running water in the one bedroom shack and only one pair of clothes. She was abandoned on the side of the highway by her mother and is regularly abused by her father. Although Sheila's reading comprehension is off the charts, she speaks in a dialect all her own. At one point Torey speaks with Sheila's father. His speech is typical of someone of a lower SES and education level. Sheila rarely uses the past tense but correctly uses conditionals. "Be" is used instead of "am", "are" or "is" and "do" is inserted in a seemingly random pattern. Torey has had samples of Sheila's speech sent off to be analyzed on multiple occasions but as far as I've read has not received any response.

I'm spending the weekend with my sister. She has a dog named Noel who is a true enigma. My sister and her boyfriend adopted Noel about 7 months ago and she has been a handful. She's skiddish, runs off, doesn't respond to her name, and is just generally strange. We're convinced that before she was in the animal shelter, Noel had an abusive owner who was probably a black man judging by how skiddish she is around my sister's boyfriend and my dad. My sister says Noel acts more like a lazy cat than a dog most of the time but when I see Noel at my grandparents' house or my parents house she's completely different. She runs, and jumps, and plays. My sister maintains a superhuman schedule between working full time, being a full time nursing student, and going to clinicals but I think Noel really just needs more patience and attention. My mom has talked about whether Jessica should take Noel back to the animal shelter just because they aren't a good match for each other. As I'm writing this, I can see a difference in Noel's behavior. She is laying on my lap, even licking my hand which are things that Jessica rarely reports. Noel needs more attention and patience and I'm afraid that if she goes back to the animal shelter she may not be adopted again.

On Mondays I have a lecture surrounding the techniques to use with emotionally/behaviorally disturbed children. Yesterday my professor, Dr. Marlowe, said that we all have charisma. That word doesn't come up very often in everyday speech but when I do hear it I'm flooded with childhood memories. My sister and I would spend a lot of time at our grandparents' house in Winston-Salem because my parents are educators and my dad was still in doctoral school at the time. I can remember only being about five years old and "helping" my grandma in the nursery at her church on Sunday mornings. There was another man named Jerry that stayed in the nursery with Grandma. I thought Jerry was the greatest. He would always tell me I had charisma in a voice that sounded like he worked in radio. I didn't know what that word meant but I thought it sounded important, upscale, posh. Charisma is defined as "a divinely conferred power or talent." It can also be a "compelling charm or attractiveness that inspires devotion in others" which is exactly how dictators and cult leaders are described. I loved having "charisma." Also Jerry called me Madisen Mayodan which was another word I didn't understand whatsoever. It actually wasn't a couple months ago that I saw the sign for the town of Mayodan as I was driving back from Virginia. I now assume that Jerry must have lived there before he lived in Winston-Salem. Now when someone says I'm charismatic I just look at them in disbelief and shake my head. Charisma seems like such an elusive praise that I couldn't possibly live up to.

Not gonna lie, I kinda forgot all about blogging this week. Not much has really happened however I did realize that most people actual introduce themselves when they start a blog which I failed to do with my last post. Hi, I'm Madisen Linnea Dingle. I like to make fun of my last name because other people are going to do it anyways, especially in the south where a dingleberry is a piece of poop. I'm multiracial and that means a lot to me since race and identity are issues that come up pretty often in our culture. I just turned 21 in January so my fridge stays stocked with wine and assorted cheeses. I love dogs, exercise, my boyfriend, and netflix. Those are the broad strokes. I find speech, language, and culture fascinating and also have a soft soft for children. Almost everyone in my family on both sides is either an educator or some kind of health care provider so education + physiology just kinda makes sense for me. I guess that's enough introducing for now.

Getting Started

Yesterday it snowed and the wind was blowing in a cyclonic motion so I elected to stay inside all day and stream movies over the internet as well as watch Jon Stewart. I took breaks just long enough to cook dinner and pour myself some champagne. Today I suppose I should actually get some work done. Call me crazy but I actual think that transcription practice is kinda fun. It's like solving a puzzle. I also have a book to read for my class on emotional/behavioral disorders. I'm kinda avoiding finding articles and reading said articles for my annotated bibliography because I'm just not motivated enough yet. The lack of motivation probably has something to do with the fact I haven't gone outside or bothered to change out of my sweatpants since Friday evening after a delicious dinner at COBO. If nothing else I'll leave the apartment long enough to go to the gym and go to cardio dance tonight. I should probably get some laundry done while I'm still sitting in here. Wow, I'm really lazy this weekend.